


It's a long road

by RattyCatty



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Colors, Colours, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 03:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3594663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RattyCatty/pseuds/RattyCatty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina's various relationships summarised with colours. Pretentious art-y poetic B.S. Concludes with Swan Queen True Love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a long road

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Mention of rape, swearing, referenced sex.
> 
> Feedback is lovely!

Her first ever relationship is soft, bubble-gum pink, like a summer sky at sunset, or the delicate velvet dresses she'd worn as a child.

It's with the stable boy, Daniel, who is charming and handsome yet kind and humble. True, it's not much deeper than puppy love – all chaste kisses and nervous glances – but it feels as real and serious as anything to the two rather naïve teenagers. Regina would even go as far as to say it's True Love – still would, decades after his departure. He's the light of her increasingly dark life, the thing that pulls her out of gloomy moods brought on by her mother.

Cora alternates between unhealthily overbearing and controlling, and distant and detached. She seems to want nothing to do with her daughter until Regina breaks a single rule. At that point, Cora descends and doles out as much punishment as it takes – both verbal and physical – for her daughter to understand what is expected of her.

Daniel, however, is all sunshine and soft warmth. He smells familiar and homely, the comforting musk of the stables hanging on his clothes and clinging to his skin. His lips are impossibly soft, and his hands are calloused from work but gentle all the same.

But it's over in a flash; infected by the thick, black, toxic poison that is her mother's ice cold heart and domineering ways. The pitch blackness bleeds into the dusky pink, and Regina tries to force it back, to cling to that glimmer of happiness, but this only makes the poison move faster. It sweeps through her life like a wave of destruction, and when it's done, there's only a sliver of flickering light left.

* * *

Her second real relationship – because she doesn't count her forced marriage to King Leopold as a relationship so much as a horribly unpleasant business transaction or a political agreement – is vibrant green. It's the colour of dewy grass on a spring morning, or of new buds on a growing plant. It's hope and new beginnings, and it's with the odd, spunky fairy, Tinkerbell.

It's a particularly black, lonely day when Tinkerbell saves Regina's life; she's all alone, and she falls from her balcony – she's still not sure if it was a complete accident or her magic acting on some subconscious death wish. The fairy catches her in a cloud of emerald magic, lifts her to her feet and offers her a second chance.

Tink is Regina's first real friend, and something of a Band-Aid – or possibly a very long, very thick bandage, because after all Regina's been through, a Band-Aid just won't cut it. The two women laugh, gossip, and drink together like neither have a care in the world – and Regina can almost believe that, when the fairy is around; Tinkerbell shows Regina the fun of the youth she never got to experience, all the while healing and helping Regina grow healthier and stronger.

Tinkerbell is the soft green of healthiness, the bright zest of youth, and it's only natural that the two fall head-first into the best sort of relationship, the sort with the comfort and familiarity of friendship as well as the love and physicality of a romantic relationship. She teaches the brunette about different types of love – women who love women, men who love men, and people who love women, men, and everyone in between or outside of those boundaries. Regina decides she likes this fluidity of love and can fit easily into this school of thought. She never did fit well into the 'women love men and only men' idea. This is just one more thing the fairy aids her with.

In the end, though, even Tink can't keep the blackness away. A bustling tavern and a handful of pixie dust is what leads to the destruction of everything Regina has built with the fairy; icy terror settles inside the brunette's heart, and she can't find it in herself to let go of her rage. The health and happiness comes crashing down, prickly defences of cold glares and biting words go up, and Regina is left alone and bleeding once more.

* * *

Maleficent is purple – a deep, dark purple that promises darkness yet plants intrigue in Regina's heart. It's the purple of royalty – the royalty of a strong, brave queen who makes her own decisions, impacts lives, and won't be overruled by a king – and the purple of Regina's new-found magic. Naturally, she's drawn to the woman and the relationship in every way possible.

Their relationship is all enticing magic, even more seductive power, and the best sex Regina's ever had. It's slow and gentle – all low, soft words and lingering fingers that graze her skin gently (God knows the king never touches her this tenderly, which only adds to the allure) – yet dark and sexy at the same time: powerful magic, the most addicting sort of drug, and erotic touches that make Regina feel wonderfully filthy.

Mal helps Regina embrace her sexual side, helps her deal with the darkness in her life. The dragon teaches her to bide her time and strike when it's least expected. She gives Regina things to think about when bedding the king – the way Maleficent's lips feel on her throat and between her thighs, the way her fingers feel inside her, and the weight of Maleficent on top of her – and it helps. Regina no longer has to bite her lip to stop herself from crying out or sobbing when the king forces himself on her, _into_ her; she simply escapes to Maleficent's delicious, mystical world until it's all over.

Regina grows stronger and stronger, though the darkness never fades. Instead, it grows, but instead of suffocating her, it now bends to her will. She can control it with a flick of a wrist or a well thought-through potion. Her demons can be moulded to fight her enemies.

She's unaware of it, but slowly, that brave, bright heart of the young horse-loving girl is darkening and turning into something capable of great evil. Thanks to the combined efforts of Maleficent and the Dark One, she is chiselled into a skilled and brutal weapon.

Regina enters this relationship a young and angry but relatively innocent girl. She leaves as a dark-hearted and empty beast, a machine that strikes down anyone in its way and keeps going no matter how many hits it takes. She casts the curse to end all curses, regardless of the prices she has to pay – even goes as far as killing her beloved father and creating a socking void in her heart to get her hands on the curse that is the strongest form of revenge in all the lands.

Yes, their relationship starts out an alluring purple, but it ends the darkest black Regina has ever experienced in her rocky and troubled life.

* * *

Kathryn is grey. Kathryn is the dullest, flattest shade of grey around. It's not so much the blonde woman herself that's drab – no, it's more like every other aspect of Regina's life is grey, and Kathryn is simply a light not bright enough to penetrate the thick fog of mediocrity.

Every day is the same, has been for a good number of years – fifteen years? Sixteen? Regina's lost count of how many years she's been in this town for now. This was supposed to be her happy ending, but it's turned out to be the furthest thing from it. God, she'd even take the horrible, stabbing pain of her younger years over this emptiness if it meant she'd feel something again.

She is empty and floating. The hole in her heart everyone warned her about makes itself known, and every day is a series of mayoral duties accompanied by an ever-present hollow ache in her chest. Nothing gets worse – this is _her_ curse after all – but nothing ever gets better either.

Not even Kathryn, her 'friend' and on-off fuck buddy, can make things a little more interesting. She's only slightly more entertaining than Graham – because girls have this seductive charm that men don't have – but it's still not enough.

Days and months tick by slowly, each day a carbon copy of the last. Regina hops between sleeping with Kathryn and Graham in the hopes that, by some miracle, she'll feel something other than aimless and emotionless. She never does.

* * *

Ruby is red – just as one would expect. She's the red of a bullfighter's flag, the red of blood spilt in a bar fight, the red of alluring lipstick, the red of a shiny sports car, the red of everything explosive and exciting. She's a strong contrast to the years and years of dull mediocrity before. She's a quick fuck one night when Regina's alone and drunk at Granny's, Ruby's sex drive is out of control due to wolfstime, and Henry is on a sleepover at someone else's house.

That night is angry and hot, all animalistic passion and burning, pent-up rage. There's a lot of complicated history between them, but that night, all fury is expressed through hard, fast sex. It's rough and filthy, and it almost makes Regina feel something.

Ruby is the red of the marks the werewolf leaves on Regina's skin, the red of the welts on her back left by Regina's nails, and the red of Ruby's skin when Regina throws her against a wall a little too hard. She's the red of the lipstick Regina leaves smeared over her throat, the red of the marks left by persistent mouths, and the red of the flush that rises near climax.

It's over as quickly as it starts and neither women dare to speak of it ever again. Ruby is an explosion, and when she's over and done with, the fire fades and fizzles out to make way for grey ash and smoke.

* * *

Emma Swan is stunning, shimmering gold. She's bright, glowing skin and soft, golden curls that fall over her shoulders like something from a dream. She's heroic and royal, just like her parents, except she's also humble and not at all pretentious. She's the colour of the purest magic and of the ripple when True Love breaks a curse. She's eye-catching and beautiful, and the majority of the time, she's utterly infuriating.

The Saviour explodes into Regina's life twenty eight years after the curse begins, and she's a handful from the very beginning. She's annoying and never backs down. She's terrifying and brave – when everyone else cowers in fear in the face of Regina Mills, Emma doesn't even flinch; she looks Regina right in the eye, and holds her head high.

Emma is honesty and true good; when Regina shows signs of being capable of change, even _wanting_ change, Emma supports her and stands by her, regardless of the sins Regina has committed in her long, dark life. She's a sort of lifeline when Regina falls off track, and a reward when she stays _on_ track. Regina realises that Emma has become a friend to her – something she never thought she'd have again.

When Emma turns out to also be the gold of True Love – _Regina's_ True Love – it's both a surprise, and the most unsurprising thing ever. Regina never expected to get another shot at True Love – especially not with the person born to break her curse, which was supposed to give Regina her happy ending. When the brunette thinks about it, though, it makes sense; the curse has given her her happy ending by bringing Emma to her.

It makes sense to her that Emma, of all people, would be her True Love; they're yin and yang, two sides of the same coin. Emma has the potential for great darkness in all her good, and Regina has the potential to be a hero even though her heart has been darkened by the ills of life.

Emma is the purest gold, the bravest hero, and the brightest light, and once both women get over themselves and the surprise of True Love, they fit together better than anyone ever thought possible. They're two weathered puzzle pieces, and together, they make a beautiful picture and a great team; they are the queen and her knight, the saviour and the evil queen, the sheriff and the mayor – or simply Regina and Emma.

Most of Regina's life has been an amalgamation of dark colours and unhealthy relationships (and healthy ones destroyed by one thing or another), but the last stretch of her life is painted golden and pure ivory by the saviour and their son, and she realises that _this_ is her happy ending.


End file.
